When will women find their place?

January 3, 2009  FILED TO: Miscellaneous

An article in The Age recently censuring the current trend of so-called “Yummy Mummies” struck a familiar cord with me when I read it (read here).  I’m no feminist, but having worked in a male-dominated industry and taken an interest in pre-Christian history, I’ve done plenty of thinking about the position women have and have had in society and what led them there.  I think women have a long way to go to claim back their full rights as equal to men but also to be proud and self-respecting in the most natural, beautiful role they could possibly have: as mothers and mothers-to-be.

In pre- and early Christian times, women were revered.  In many religions, women were worshiped for their life-giving role.  Somehow, over the last two centuries, the tables have turned, beginning with (at least in the Western world) the growth of the Catholic church and the decline of paganism.   For hundreds of years, women had no rights and no other expectations on them other than to marry and bear children – and even then many had no say in whom they married. And indeed, if a woman tried to step out of their constricting bounds and seek employment or choose not to marry, not only did they receive scathing criticism from men but also from other women.  Many early authoresses wrote under male (or neuter) pseudonyms so that they would be taken seriously.

In the last century, women have slowly fought their way into board rooms and building sites and (though the glass-ceiling still exists) gained equality in the workplace with men.  Thanks to the Suffragettes, Women’s Lib and everything in between, women can now work, vote, drive cars, become political leaders and more.  However, women are still prisoners of their own stereotype.  The article talks about how pregnant women and mothers in the 1950’s and 1960’s were shunned – they were not seen as sexual, valuable beings but rather as vessels for children – wearing sacks to cover their shame, staying inside all day, being treated as if they had an illness when giving birth.  Contrast that to today’s trend of Yummy Mummies – women feel much more liberated and free when pregnant and as mothers.  However, it’s still an image, it’s still a facade and it still eeks of shame and embarrassment of the physical effects of motherhood.  Instead of covering up with sack-dresses, women are dieting to maintain thin bodies; birth is still largely treated as a medical process (the number of unnecessary caesarian sections performed each year is huge); women are pressured more than ever when it comes to the decision about whether to breastfeed or not – they are not fully educated on the issues and when it comes down to it, breastfeeding in public is still largely not accepted as politically correct, which is a major factor in the decision whether or not to breastfeed.  Pregnancy and birth are still reduced to a clinical, medical, regimented process – not the beautiful, natural, miraculous events that they are (not to mention vital to the survival of the human race!).

When will women end their self-sabotaging and embrace this role, when will they realise that they can choose to work and also choose to be a mother (and be proud)?  It’s women who have to lead the way on this.  Enjoy pregnancy, embrace the experience, support each other.  Choose a birthing clinic or home birth rather than a caesarian in a hospital (studies have shown birthing clinics and home births with a birthing attendant or Doula produce a less painful and more enjoyable labour experience, with fewer complications); choose to breastfeed and be proud of it; enjoy your baby’s early months rather than worrying about getting your body back and going back to work; learn all that you can about motherhood and make informed decisions for you and your family.  I don’t have children yet, but I know that when I do, this is the attitude that I will take.